Don’t know what to get your special someone for Christmas? We feel ya. But don’t worry! After reading this article, there is no chance of you panicking or aimlessly wandering at the department store on Christmas Eve just before closing time. Fact is, she (or he, but let’s use she to make this easy on the writer for now) has already told you what she wants, but you just didn’t listen! Ouch!

Is your problem one of these? Or all of them?
– She doesn’t want anything
– She already has everything
– She never likes the presents you get her
– You have no idea what she would like

Don’t panic! Here’s how to solve all of those problems:

1. She doesn’t want anything

Reaaaally? She wants nothing? She REALLY does not want anything?! Not even a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine, woolen socks, a night out, a book, a lottery scratch off?! Are you absolutely sure she does not want anything? Are you sure it’s not just you trying to go the easy way? Are you?!

If not wanting anything is, in fact, the case, here’s what you have to do. Get in the midset of an FBI profiler. Thinks about your significant other. About her personality. Does she hate clutter and spending money? Does receiving a gift make her uncomfortable? Would she rather spend all her nights at home with you and the kids? Are her feet never cold? If so, is she a cyborg?

It’s more likely that she just doesn’t want to voice her wishes. For fear or shame or what ever the reason. Or maybe she wants you to surprise her with something romantic?

Stop! No rolling your eyes and muttering something about “why can’t women just tell us what they want”, we can hear you! Even the eye rolling, very loud! From when we were little we have been taught to not want things. To not demand things, to be quiet and agreeable. It’s not our fault!

Watch her when she tells you that she doesn’t want anything. Pay attention to what she says. “I don’t need anything” means exactly that. She doesn’t NEED anything, wanting things is completely different. Watch her body language too. Does she say it while dreamily gazing to a distance? Is there a little laugh or a maybe a dramatic sigh after she tells you she doesn’t want anything? This means that she does, in fact, want something. On to part 2!

2. She already has everything

Everyone already has everything. Don’t fall for this excuse. It’s not up to you to decide is she has enough jewelry, books, tools, perfumes, bicycles or memories of fun experiences. If at part 1 you too have come to the conclusion that your SO actually does want something, you need to get her something. Or you’re gonna be known as the selfish prick with all her friends and the strangers at the internet forums. Do you really want to be the one starring in the stories on the forums after Christmas? The one that people will say things like “what a selfish bastard” or “dump that fool, you deserve better” about? Probably not, so move on to the next part!

3. She doesn’t like the things you get her

We women can be straight too, and here’s the straight up truth: if she doesn’t like the present you give her, you’ve done goofed up. Yeah you. She’s not impossible or hard to gift. It’s you who made the mistake. Typical mistakes are:
– You didn’t by a gift for your woman, but to a woman. Not all women like perfumes, pedicures or home appliances.
– You didn’t buy it to her, but for you. Are you sure she’s gonna be over the moon for the raunchy crotchless panties? Or are those meant for your benefit?
– You just don’t listen to her, or know her. Is she hypersensitive to smells and you got her essential oils? Did she tell you she hates coconut and you got her a coconut scented body lotion? Did you buy her wrong sized underwear (oh honey… )? Did you get a bungee jump experience for someone terrified of heights? Or maybe you gave a frying pan to a romantic?
– You got something she wants to pick out herself. Some people like to wear jewelry or clothes picked out by their SO. Even if they don’t match their personal style. Other people are more strict about this, and do not like someone else picking out their earrings or necklaces or pillows or even cellphones.

Simple solution: listen to her and find out who she is, and what she wants. This might come with other possible benefits too! Dare to try? If so, move straight to part 4.

4. You don’t know what she wants

Let’s be frank again: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Seriously. There’s no way your SO hasn’t at least hinted about something she would like, to do or to won, since the last Christmas or her birthday.

But we get it, it can be super hard to realize that when she said something she actually handed an idea for a gift on a silver platter. So here’s how to hear what she says:

– Listen! Listen to what she says. Think of yourself as a code breaker on a secret mission. 007 Bond style. Here’s what you need to be alert for: “I think I need..”, “maybe I should get…”, “I wish I had…”, “I wish…”, “it would be great..”, “I’ve thought about getting a…”, “I went looking for a…”, “I’ve always wanted…” “someday it would be nice to…”, “I saw the perfect…” and so on. Pay attention every time she wishes, dreams of, considers or plans for something. A thing, a stuff, a something to do.
You could even make a list on your phone, and when it’s time to get a present, you just have to check your list! No more shopping panic.
– Observe! Pay attention to what she pays attention to. What gets her excited. What catches her eye when you are out or on a commercial. If she points something out or comments about something it could be a clue!
– But do also pay attention on what she says after.
These mean DO NOT BUY: “oh but it itches”, “I don’t like this color”, “too much effort” etc.
The following says DO BUY: “But it’s so expensive”, “I can’t afford this…”, “I’ll have to think about it..” (and if she actually mentions it again, it’s a buy for sure.)
NOTE! “I don’t really need it” could mean both. If she says it with annoyance or frustration in her voice, don’t buy it. If it’s with a longing or dreamily, do buy it. It’s easy!

An easy way to figure out your special persons Christmas wishes. Just listen and learn and pay attention, and you’ll thank yourself later. And she will thank you too!

— Editors

The writer of this story is a member of the Mom of Finland community.


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