A child is a small person, who sometimes, usually due to the will and need of a bigger person, has to move from one place to another using public transportation. In public transportation, a child can move around uncontrollably. For you to survive this encounter with a travelling child, with your personal travel comfort intact, here’s a helpful guide:

A child arriving to public transportation:

If, on a bus stop, you happen to see a baby carriage or a stroller trying to get on board said bus, immediately move towards the back of the bus. This way, you can avoid the eye contact and pleas of help, which are used to try to lure you to help lift said carriage on to the bus. If you can not move from your current position, keep your eyes fixed on the far left, to make it clear that you in no way want to be part of this threat to other people’s travel experience. Some tourist or an old lady will surely help with the carriage anyway.

A child inside public transportation:

Children are known for their great enthusiasm towards the things they see, and the need to tell others about those things. Because you already know what traffic lights are, and why they change colors, be sure to scoff at the nonsense of this child. If the child’s volume rises, stare at the adult companion of the child in question. Cough. Glare. Give them the evil eye. Make it clear, that you were never a child, and even if you happen to be sitting next to an offspring of your own, at least your child has manners and does not bother the other passengers.

A crying or an angry child inside public transportation:

Send a particularly vicious glare towards the child and the child’s adult companion. Say something mean out loud, or spew out something vulgar and offensive. It’s clear that the child is acting out because they’re just spoiled and bratty, and they want to specifically ruin your private experience in the public transportation.

A child exciting public transportation:

If the company of the child shows any signs of leaving the public transportation, remember these three golden rules: push in front, rush, and deny any help. Do not offer any help to the children’s party, in any way. It’s their own fault if they get caught between the bus door while carrying groceries with one hand and pushing the stroller with the other at the same time trying to comfort the crying child. Their own fault, and you don’t want to mix in with all that.

If everyone would just follow these simple instructions, the children would stop playing around in public transportation and we would all have a much more enjoyable time travelling.

— Editors

The writer of this story is a member of the Mom of Finland community.

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